I’m a Childless Gay Pediatrician, and the DNC’s Takes On Masculinity and Fatherhood Have Been a Breath of Fresh Air

An Unexpected Delight at the DNC: Reclaiming the Joy of Fatherhood

For too long, the Republican Party has tried to claim a monopoly on masculinity. Whether showcasing Hulk Hogan at the RNC or circulating AI-generated images of Donald Trump as a hyper-masculine figure—despite the reality that he bears more resemblance to Jabba the Hutt than a superhero—Republicans are grappling with the idea of what it means to be a man. And I think I know why. 

After watching the first few nights of the Democratic National Convention (DNC), many have agreed that joy was a recurring theme. But I noticed another emerging trend: fatherhood. From Ashley Biden’s heartfelt declaration of Joe Biden as “the original girl-dad” to Pete Buttigieg’s poignant reflections on his role as a gay father to his adopted children, the DNC was filled with shining examples of what fatherhood can and should be. 

I grew up with a great dad. He’s a traditionally masculine man—an all-star lacrosse player who later worked in the steel industry. To this day, he’s a “man’s man”: a sports lover, a grill master, the whole nine yards. But my dad is also kind, empathetic, and a good listener. He always parents in partnership with my mom, knowing just how lucky he is to have her on his team. When I came out as gay, he was the first person in my family to accept me, and he would still fight for me today. He embodies what I believe is fatherhood done right. 

So, when I saw Gus Walz stand up in tears and shout, “That’s my dad!” during Tim Walz’s speech, I melted, and I understood the feeling. Getting to know Tim Walz over the past few weeks has felt a lot like looking at my own dad. Seeing him place his family in the spotlight and witnessing their mutual love and admiration is just the cherry on top. Tim also spoke about his and Gwen’s fertility journey—an arduous path familiar to the 42% of Americans who have either undergone fertility treatment (like my own parents) or know someone who has. 

Pete Buttigieg also addressed a different societal barrier he faced in becoming a father. He spoke about his twins, Gus and Penelope, and how, as a young gay man, he never imagined he would have a family. Yet here he is. He shared, “This kind of life went from impossible to possible, from possible to real, from real to almost ordinary.” Buttigieg, like Walz, is a man beaming with pride for his family and who deeply understands how precious fatherhood is. 

Finally, while Walz and Buttigieg remind us that fatherhood is something to be treasured, the Second Gentleman, Doug Emhoff, showed us that modern fatherhood may look different in every family, but it remains sacred. Emhoff proudly reflected on the “blended family” he shares with Kamala Harris and his ex-wife Kerstin Emhoff, who supports him so deeply that she co-produced his DNC introduction video. Emhoff's story highlights the beauty that can emerge from hardship, tragedy, and even divorce—a stark contrast to the GOP’s ongoing attacks on non-traditional families, single parents, and no-fault divorce, as seen in the proposals of Project 2025. 

At this year’s DNC, Democrats presented a vision of fatherhood that is inclusive, empathetic, and deeply rooted in love. By showcasing diverse examples of fatherhood, they offered a counter-narrative to the rigid and often exclusionary definitions promoted by the Republican Party. It was a celebration of what it means to be a father in today’s world—a role that can be both traditional and modern, masculine and nurturing, always evolving but ever precious. 

The DNC didn’t just reclaim the joy of fatherhood; they clarified its definition, providing a healthier and more hopeful model for the future.

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Dr. Michael O’Brien is the Arena’s newest contributor. Follow him on X @DrOBrienMD.

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